I Didn’t Realise Becoming a Mum Would Impact My Mental Health This Much
When I became a mum, I thought I was ready. I’d read the books, I’d spent hours painting the nursery to perfection, I’d listened to endless advice. But nothing prepared me for the way motherhood would affect my mental health.
I expected sleepless nights. I expected my body to change. What I didn’t expect was the constant undercurrent of anxiety and the middle-of-the-night panic that I wasn’t doing enough, or the way I felt invisible while the world celebrated my baby. No one had warned me that motherhood could be this lonely.
The Feelings I Didn’t Talk About
People often describe new motherhood as the “happiest time of your life.” And yes, there was so much joy - in those little hands, the tiny yawns, the first smiles. But alongside the joy was fear, exhaustion, and an anxiety that crept into every part of my day.
I later learned that around 1 in 10 women experience a mental health problem during pregnancy or in the first year after birth. Knowing I wasn’t alone helped, but at the time it still felt like I was failing at something everyone else seemed to manage. I put on a brave face while inside I felt like I was crumbling. I didn’t want to admit I needed help because I was so scared of the judgement I could receive.
Why Maternal Mental Health Needs More Attention
The truth is, society doesn’t always see the mum. We’re asked how the baby’s sleeping, eating, growing but rarely, “How are you?” And even if someone does ask, the pressure to smile and say “I’m fine” is enormous.
This “bounce back” culture we live in makes it worse. The message is that we should recover quickly, fit into old clothes, get back to work, and get on with things as if nothing’s changed. But everything has changed. Motherhood transforms you completely - body, mind, and heart. And ignoring that reality leaves too many mums struggling in silence.
What Helped Me
It took me a while to realise that I didn’t have to carry it all on my own. Little by little, I started finding ways to cope:
Talking honestly with other mums who admitted they felt the same
Writing down my feelings, even the messy ones, in a journal
Taking a few minutes for meditations or affirmations to quiet the noise in my head
Reaching out for professional support when I knew I couldn’t manage alone
This journey is also part of why I built Carea. When I was postpartum, there wasn’t much support or information. I wanted something more compassionate and useful than the apps I’d used before. Carea is built to support you through postpartum with:
A baby tracker AND a mum tracker to focus on not just your baby’s growth but also your recovery
A pelvic floor trainer developed with experts to aid gentle recovery
A space to journal and process your emotions
Affirmations and meditations specifically related to postpartum
A community tab with real mums who encourage honest conversations about the highs and lows of motherhood
Expert curated articles available in both written and audio format so you can understand how postpartum changes you and how you can best be supported
Motherhood is the most beautiful journey but it’s also hard, and it can take a toll on our mental health in ways we don’t always expect. I didn’t realise just how much it would impact me, but talking about it, writing about it, and sharing openly has helped me heal.
If you’re feeling the weight of anxiety or sadness as a new mum, please know you’re not failing, and you’re definitely not alone. Your feelings matter. You matter.
If you’re seeking postpartum support, click here to download Carea.
Every mum’s journey is different, and what helps one of us might help another. I’d love to hear from you - what helped you most in those early postpartum days? Share your thoughts in the comments below so another mum reading might feel a little less alone.
FAQs:
Q: Is it normal to struggle with mental health after having a baby?
Yes. Around 1 in 10 mothers experience postpartum anxiety or depression. You are not alone, and it doesn’t mean you’re failing.
Q: How can I look after my mental health as a new mum?
Stay connected to people you trust, rest when possible, use supportive tools like journaling or meditations, and don’t hesitate to seek professional help if you need it.
Q: Where can I find resources or support?
The NHS offers perinatal mental health services, and organisations like the Maternal Mental Health Alliance provide excellent resources and community support. Carea is available on the App Store and Google Play and provides tools and resources for postpartum women.
