Pregnancy After Loss: Why Joy and Anxiety Can Coexist
When I saw the positive test, after losing my last baby during pregnancy, I expected to feel only happiness. Instead, I felt a complicated mix of emotions: hope, fear, love, and grief - all at once.
Pregnancy after miscarriage doesn’t erase the pain of what came before. It layers joy on top of wounds that are still healing. Every scan felt like holding my breath. Every milestone brought relief and memories of my beautiful angel baby. I was dreaming of life with my new baby and grieving the loss of that life with my previous baby. It was hard to let myself get excited again, every day and night my mind ran through endless ‘what ifs’.
I’ve since learned this is common. Many mothers describe pregnancy after loss as walking a tightrope between excitement and dread. And it makes sense. When you’ve experienced loss, it’s hard to trust your body, or the future, in the same way again.
Joy & Fear As Constant Companions
One of the hardest lessons I learned was that joy and anxiety can coexist. I could celebrate little kicks and still feel scared before every appointment. I could imagine holding my baby while grieving the one I never got to meet.
At first, I thought this meant I was “doing it wrong” - that my inability to fully relax made me a bad mum. But the truth is, holding space for both joy and fear is a big part of pregnancy after loss. It doesn’t mean you love your baby any less. It means you’ve loved and lost before, and you carry that love with you.
What Helped Me Cope With Pregnancy Anxiety
The anxiety never fully disappeared, and that’s completely normal. Sometimes after loss, anxiety can stay with you throughout pregnancy and even postpartum. However, there were things that helped me breathe a little easier each day:
Journaling my thoughts so the worries didn’t just rattle in my head.
Affirmations like “Today I am pregnant, and today that is enough.”
Meditations that gave me a few moments of calm when my thoughts began to spiral.
Connecting with others who had walked this road and understood without judgement.
These tools eventually became part of why I created Carea - a pregnancy and postpartum app designed to support women through every unique pregnancy and postpartum journey. Instead of generic weekly updates like most apps, it offers compassionate tools like journaling, meditations, affirmations, and community support to help women feel seen and less alone.
If you’d like to learn more about Carea, click here.
Holding Space for Both
Pregnancy after loss is not a straight line of healing. It’s a winding path where joy and grief walk hand in hand. If you’re feeling anxious while also deeply loving your baby, you’re not alone and you’re not doing it wrong.
If you’ve experienced pregnancy after loss, what helped you cope with the anxiety? Share your thoughts below - your story could be the reassurance another mum needs today.
FAQ: Pregnancy After Loss
Q: Is it normal to feel anxious during pregnancy after miscarriage?
Yes. Anxiety is extremely common, even when everything is progressing well. Both joy and fear can exist side by side.
Q: How can I cope with pregnancy anxiety?
Gentle practices like journaling, affirmations, meditation, and connecting with supportive communities can help. You can also check out our Carea Instagram community for practical tips and support. And you can always reach out for professional support if the anxiety feels overwhelming.
Q: Will these feelings go away once my baby is born?
Sometimes anxiety eases, but for many women it continues into postpartum. That’s why compassionate, ongoing support is so important.
