Today I Light a Candle for the Baby I’ll Always Love but Never Got to Hold

Each year, from October 9 to October 15, I observe Pregnancy & Baby Loss Remembrance Week. This week is a time to reflect, grieve, and honour the baby I lost. The week culminates on October 15, known as Pregnancy & Baby Loss Remembrance Day, with the Wave of Light - a global event where candles are lit at 7 PM local time to remember all babies who were lost too soon. Lighting a candle on this day is a simple yet profound way to show that our babies are loved and remembered.

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Losing a baby changed me forever. It wasn’t just sadness - it was grief tangled up with guilt, fear, and anxiety. After my miscarriage, I questioned my body and myself in ways that left me feeling raw and broken. When I later began IVF, the fear followed me into every scan, every blood test, every hopeful milestone.

What made it harder was how invisible that grief felt. Even though 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, so often it’s treated as something you “move past” quietly, without space to process. I remember feeling like the world had carried on while I was still standing still, clutching a loss no one could see.

Over time, I learned that giving myself permission to grieve openly was a vital part of healing. Lighting a candle, journaling, or simply talking about it with others - these small acts helped me to process my loss. And when I finally conceived again, those acts became anchors, helping me manage the anxiety that pregnancy after loss inevitably brings.

Here are some acts I recommend to cope with your grief:

• Lighting a candle or creating a ritual: This act helped me to feel connected to my baby and the global community of parents who have experienced similar loss.

• Journaling or creative expression: Writing letters to my baby and creating a memory box allowed me to process my emotions.

• Community support: Connecting with others who have experienced loss provides comfort and understanding.

> [INSERT INSTAGRAM REEL OF LIGHTING CANDLE - LINKED TO CAREA FEED]

Healing after your angel baby doesn’t mean forgetting them or moving on. It’s keeping their memory alive, and allowing yourself to find moments of joy once again. This week I light a candle to remember my beautiful baby and the life we should have had together. I share my story with others so that we can both feel less alone. And I allow myself the space to grieve.

If this resonates with you, share your story in the comments below - your experience may help someone else feel seen and supported.

Q: How can I commemorate my baby during Pregnancy & Baby Loss Remembrance Week? A: Saying their name aloud, journaling, creating a memory box, or participating in the Wave of Light are meaningful ways to remember your angel baby.

Q: Is it normal to feel anxious during a subsequent pregnancy?

A: Yes. Pregnancy after loss often brings heightened anxiety. Tools like Carea can help manage emotions.

Q: Where can I find support for pregnancy loss? A: NHS resources, Baby Loss Awareness Week, and digital communities like Carea provide emotional support and coping strategies.

Related Carea blog: Pregnancy After Loss: Why Joy and Anxiety Can Coexist Read more about Baby Loss Awareness Week [LINK: https://babyloss-awareness.org/]